transsolas-deactivated20150215:

okay let me do my best here bc i’ve answered this privately for a few people.

first off? it is 100% not the same. a non-binary person is not the same gender as dorian or sera. personally when i think of a heteroromantic relationship, i think of a binary male and a binary female - trans or not. now i don’t mean this as erasing bi or pan romantic people, i just mean that your relationship would be hetero, not that the people themselves are hetero.

anyway, moving on. this is definitely a difficult thing to talk about and i think you’ll find differing opinions on the matter, but for me? i am agender.

let’s say my partner was a cis woman and a lesbian.

to me? it wouldn’t bother me if she considered herself a lesbian still HOWEVER these things must happen:

• she must never refer to me as her girlfriend
• she must always use my pronouns correctly
• she must never say something like ‘well since you have a vagina i’m obviously still gay’

for some people sexuality is very rigid and for some people it is fluid. i absolutely don’t feel like having dorian or sera w/ a non-binary inquisitor is the same thing as having them w/ a binary gendered person. to think otherwise would be severely policing a lot of people.

i am agender. i have no gender, and i am not of the ‘female sex’.

maybe an inquisitor is bigender and maybe dorian loved her always, but is only sexually attracted to her when she’s identifying as a man.

maybe an inquisitor is a demigirl, and sera lavishes her with attention and touches when she feels she’s a woman, and when they feel like a boy or agender or anything else, they become touch averse and sera respects that.

gender and sexualities are complicated but i think it’s super important not to treat a non-binary person in a relationship w/ a gay person the same way as one SHOULD treat someone making dorian or sera bi for their het ship. it’s not the same thing imo, not at all.