“He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette. “I can only truly love my dead best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed.”

— from Mallory Ortberg’s hilarious “Male Novelist Jokes.” (via morefunthanb4)

christianborle:

working on a group project like

writing “sorry” at the bottom of your math test

hospitalstays:

school cum

“estebara”

— stop jenny 2k14

madisonbumgarnersgrandslams:

This is the greatest headline of our generation

thahalfrican:

imma do this lmfaooooo

animatedtext:

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